A cry

God, I hate that in the midst of a celebration, that I had to leave because I was so overcome with sadness. I'm such a fake. I don't want to be strong any more. I hate being alone. Why do I have to be alone? It hurts so much. Why do I have to keep waiting, and not knowing? It hurts so much. I hate it. Please just help me. I don't know what to do. Please help...