Saturday, May 28, 2011


I often have a hard time interacting with people. I do best with smaller amounts of people, and as the grouping number increases, I get progressively quieter and more inward.

And believe it or not, I'm actually better than I used to be.

I sometimes wonder if I could have some mild Asperger's, or if there's just a deep nugget of doubt buried deep, sending subtle thoughts of wondering about people. Pleasantries are nice at times, but I want to know if people are REAL.

Prayer is always a help. It helps with focus and preparation. It is a conversation with God where I can show my gratitude, and reveal my weaknesses. I don't know why exactly, but I seem to experience God more here--I don't know if that's a truth, or if being alone here, I'm just more aware and open to His workings around me with less distractions. It's painful and uncomfortable at times, and yet I know that good will out, so I expectantly wait... and pray, and take a deep breath as I am willing to be stretched beyond myself...

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