I had a pretty good day at work, overall. No discharges or admits, so the paperwork was at a minimum. I DID have one patient that would....expose...(ahem!) himself... while in the presence of certain staff members. I had to accompany others into the room because he wouldn't do it if I was there.
(and then he DID, later in the day, but he apologized to me for it).
And then I had a cute little, slightly confused lady. It was towards the end of my day, and she said she was "lonesome", so I talked with her and held her hand. She told me that she had a son that was her world, and he died. And thus began the following conversation:
Her: Do you have any kids?
Her: WHY NOT?!
Me: well, I'm not married
Her: oh, well, that makes sense...
Her: have you EVER been married?
Her: WHY NOT?!
Me: (trying not to laugh) um, I guess I haven't met the right person yet...
Her: Why, you're a good-lookin' woman!
Me: ummm, thanks
(and then I change the subject, and leave the room, but come back and make sure she can get to her water)
Her: well, if I couldn't reach it, I'd just call you---What's your name?
Me: (tell her my first name)
Her: OH! that's pretty! I like that!
Me: thank you
Her: What's your last name?
Me: (and then I tell her that)
(pause as she says it under her breath, and says both names together)
Her: Well, THAT'S a HELLUVA name!
Me: yes, it IS a helluva name.
(pause as I walk around the bed to chart at the computer)
Her: Are you EVER gonna have kids?
Me: uh, I don't know
Her: Well, I'm gonna find you a man
Me: alright, you go ahead and do that....