So I went to Target tonight, and on a whim got some Jack Daniels (because I don't like beer very much). At Target, they now have alarms on each individual bottle, around the neck. I got the rest of my supplies and went to check out. The check-out girl had to call a supervisor to come get the alarm off of my bottle, but the supervisor didn't know how, so she started finding various other employees to ask them if they knew how to release my bottle. She'd walk all over the store, with me following her around. It took about 10 people and 20 minutes, but I finally got my bottle back.
I also heard the Columbus North marching band---SOOO good! I was very impressed.